


I Loved You

by dontblink10



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Asexual Castiel, Castiel Has a Fear of Storms, Child Abuse, Cuddling & Snuggling, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-04-19 10:18:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4742639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontblink10/pseuds/dontblink10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I used to love you," Castiel whispered. </p><p>"I know." </p><p>+</p><p>The one where Castiel and Dean used to be friends, but Dean joined the football team and abandoned Castiel and Charlie. As senior year progresses, they become friends, lovers even, but will they be forced apart again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_2:37 a.m_

Dark clouds had been dragging themselves over Lawrence, Kansas all day. A few times, they slowed, sprinkling the town with small droplets of rain, dampening people’s days, and making the air heavy. Now, they were slow, barely moving. Buckets of rain crashed against a young boy’s roof, startling him from sleep. 

Castiel Novak did not like storms.He had been watching the clouds move in all day, dread growing in his stomach with the darkening greys of the clouds putting him on alert. The storm was inevitable. As the rain fell harder, he pulled his blue comforter up over his chin, trying and failing to escape. 

_The storm began._

Clouds crashed against each other with the strength of Castiel’s favourite Gods. Lightning flashed, much like his father when he’s done something wrong. The young boy flinched roughly, burying himself further into his blankets. 

Zachariah and Naomi were away on a business trip, leaving Castiel and Gabriel under the care of Michael and Lucifer. The two, like their parents, believed that Castiel was faking his fear to get attention. No one checked on him while the Gods fought their age-old battle. As thunder crashed, Castiel cried. 

That was how the night went: flinching, crying, whimpering, clinging to an old stuffed bear as though his life depended on it. 

+


	2. Miss Missing You

_10 Years Later_

Castiel Novak dragged his scuffed Converse across the worn tiles of Lawrence High. The coffee in his hand was too hot, and too bitter. He drank it anyways. 

“Cassie!” A fiery red-head ran down the hall towards him. Offering a small smile, he turned to her. 

“Hello, Charlie,” he said, voice rough with exhaustion. Charlie offered a sympathetic smile and tugged his grey sweater into place. She looked up, studying his dull blue eyes. 

“Did the storm keep you awake all night?” she asked quietly, taking his coffee. Castiel shrugged. Charlie sighed. “You’re exhausted. Skip with me, get a few hours of sleep.” 

“I can’t. You know what would happen.” Charlie looked at her boots, remembering the last time she had convinced Castiel to skip and catch up on sleep. The attendance office had called his father, who slapped him before grounding him for two months. 

“Okay, just…” Charlie sighed. Castiel gave her an apologetic smile. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to get enough sleep tonight,” he promised. Charlie nodded and dragged him to Calculus. They sat in their usual seats, in the middle of the classroom. Pulling out his homework, Castiel found a note in his Calculus folder, written in his mother’s neat script. 

_Castiel,  
Your father and I are leaving for the meeting at nine this morning. We will be home in a week. Do not let Gabriel burn the house down. I have confidence that you will continue to go to school and stay out of trouble. _

_Sincerely,  
Naomi Novak_

Castiel sighed, shoving the note into his bookbag. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised, when did they stay for more than a week anyways? 

“Something wrong?” Charlie asked. 

“They’re leaving again.” Charlie gave Castiel a sympathetic smile and patted his hand before the bell rang and the teacher began. 

+

At lunch, Castiel sat at he and Charlie’s normal table, slowly eating grapes as he waited for the red-head. 

“Cassie! I’ve got plans for us tonight. I’ll pick you up at seven, okay?” Castiel sighed, but didn’t argue, knowing she would call Gabriel to convince him. THe last time she’d gotten Gabriel involved, Castiel’s hair was blue for two weeks. Granted, it wasn’t a bad look, but his parents were pissed. 

“Fine. What is it?” Charlie grinned, her eyes twinkling mischievously. 

“Definitely not telling.” Castiel rolled his eyes, and pointedly ignored the football team as the players sauntered in. Of fucking course, Charlie noticed. 

“You can’t avoid those two forever,” she said quietly, taking one of Castiel’s carrot sticks. 

“No, but I will continue to avoid them for as long as possible.” Charlie slammed her hand on the table. Castiel jumped and glared at her as other people stared at them. She looked like she had something important to say, but she clenched her jaw, gathered her things, and left. 

“Always leaving me,” Castiel whispered to no one, eating another carrot stick. 

+

Music poured from the open doors, and people spilled onto the porch and across the front yard. Cars were parked up and down the street. Castiel’s hands were unsteady as Charlie led him inside. 

“There’s Gilda! I’ll catch you later,” Charlie said, pushing her way through the crowd to her girlfriend. Great. Now, Castiel was alone in a party where he didn’t know anyone. What could go wrong? The blue eyed boy walked awkwardly through the house in search of the kitchen. Digging through the refrigerator, he pulled out a bottle of water. 

“The hell are you doing here?” someone asked from behind him. Castiel’s whole body tensed. Slowly, he turned around. Standing around him, blocking any exits to the kitchen, were Crowley, Alastair, and Lilith. 

“I was invited by a friend,” Castiel answered, barely keeping the tremor out of his voice. Crowley scowled, and Alastair sneered. Lilith outright giggled. 

“Hey guys!” A loud, very drunk Dean Winchester stumbled in behind his friends. “Wha’s goin’ on?” A giddy grin was stretched across his face, his arm was wrapped tightly around a dark-haired girl. 

“Cas! How’ve you been?” Castiel flinched. Leave it to Dean Winchester to make his hands tremble when he needed to seem cool and collected. 

“I’m … leaving.” Castiel pushed past Crowley and Dean, and ran to the living room. He told Charlie he would see her the next day and rushed out the front door. Of course, Charlie had driven him. He pulled his collar higher and shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked against the wind. 

+

“What are you doing here?” Gabriel asked as Castiel walked through their front door. “Charlie said that you wouldn’t be home until late, but it’s only ten thirty.” Castiel waved a dismissive hand at his brother and rushed up the stairs. 

“Castiel! Where have you been?” Michael asked as Castiel walked past his older brother’s bedroom. 

“No where. Leave it, please.” Lucifer snorted from across the hall. 

“Come here, little brother.” Fear coursed through Castiel’s veins, but he did as Lucifer said. The taller man smirked as he grabbed Castiel’s shoulders. 

“I’ll vouch for you, but you owe me,” he said. Castiel nodded. This was something Lucifer did often, spook Castiel into believing he was in trouble, before covering for him. Michael had to know it was going on, but he had never said anything.   
“Thank you,” Castiel said quietly. 

“Yeah, yeah. Why are you crying?” Lucifer asked, genuine concern shining in his eyes. Castiel looked away, wiping the tears from his face. 

“I wasn’t aware I was crying,” he mumbled. Lucifer pulled him into a quick hug. “Charlie took me to a party, then left me. I was cornered in the kitchen, and I saw Dean, and I couldn’t stay.” 

“I’m here, and what not. Okay? If you need to talk. Gabriel and I have something planned for tomorrow, so go shower and sleep.” Castiel nodded and did as Lucifer said, going to get in the cold shower. He finished quickly, and curled up in bed, trying and failing to push thoughts of green eyes and drunk smiles out of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Chapter 1. Hopefully, Chapter 2 shouldn't take too long. Hope you enjoy!


	3. Chapter 2 - Can't Stand Losing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long!

The next morning, Castiel is woken by loud banging and giggling. Someone is yelling at whatever is making the noise. He groans and rolls over, pulling the blankets over his head and wincing as his back popped. Footsteps pounded up the stairs. 

“Cassie!” Lucifer yelled as Gabriel jumped on Castiel’s bed. “Get up! We have a plan!” Castiel tried to wave his arms to shoo his brothers, but he was trapped in the blanket. He made a gravely distressed sound and waved his arms around, trying to free himself. Gabriel and Lucifer laughed so hard that Gabriel fell off of the bed. Lucifer finally took pity on his younger brother and pulled the blanket off of him. 

“Thank you,” Castiel said, his voice rough with sleep. Lucifer hummed in acknowledgement and launched into an explanation of their plan. 

“Gabriel and I bought three paint ball guns, and we’re gonna shoot them at people’s lawns. Starting with Dean Winchester.” 

+

Castiel ran back into the house, panting and giggling. They’d been out for two hours shooting paintballs at people’s mailboxes and lawns until the cops were called. At which point, they all threw themselves into Lucifer’s car and sped away. 

“I’ve gotta go tell Charlie about this,” Castiel decided, rushing up the stairs. Gabriel laughed, rolling his eyes, glad he and Lucifer could cheer their brother up. “Can you drive me?” Castiel shouted down the stairs. Gabriel heard him throwing his clothes into a bag, rushing around his room to make sure he had the right chargers. 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Gabriel asked, giving Castiel a devilish grin as he raced down the stairs. Castiel rolled his eyes. 

+

“Charlie! Gabriel, Lucifer and I paint balled people’s yards today! We even got Dea - “ Castiel froze in the entrance to the kitchen. With his signature flannel and spiked up hair, Dean Winchester was sitting on one of the stools at the island. 

“Yeah. I saw. Thanks for that, Cas. Real sweet of you.” Dean and Castiel scowled at each other, and Charlie sighed. 

“Hey, Cas. Since you’re here, and with a bag, I’m assuming you were planning on staying the night?” she asked. 

“Charlie, assuming makes an ass out of you and me. Well, makes an ass out of you and Cas in this context.” Charlie and Cas rolled their eyes. 

“Yeah, but not if he’s staying,” Castiel said. 

“You’re here now. You can both stay.” Charlie gave both boys puppy eyes. 

“Fine. I’ll order the pizza,” Dean mumbled. He slid from the stool and moved into the living room. 

“You should start knocking,” Charlie said, giving Cas a pointed look. “My mom won’t be gone forever. She gets back Monday, actually.” 

“Will do. I’m going to go change into sweatpants. These jeans are covered in paint.” Charlie nodded, and Castiel left to the bathroom. When the door was closed behind him, he leaned against it and shut his eyes. Had Dean and Charlie still been talking? Was he the only one that was left behind? 

+

“Dean, give me more pizza,” Charlie demanded, handing him her paper plate. The Winchester boy rolled his eyes, but put two more pieces of pizza on Charlie’s plate. 

“Thanks, Squirrel.”

“Not you too,” Dean groaned. Castiel sat silently, picking at his pizza and intently watching the Harry Potter movie playing. As soon as the pizza arrived, the three of them had gathered in Charlie’s basement. Charlie was on the floor, lying in a pile of pillows. and Dean and Castiel were sitting on the couch with a whole foot between them. 

Having gotten up early, Castiel was dead tired. He wanted nothing more than to lay down and go to sleep. But it was only nine thirty and Dean was in the way. A small relieved sigh escaped when he curled his legs under himself and pulled a blanket closer. 

“Cas, you can’t sleep now! We have six more movies to watch!” Charlie looked frantic, as though Castiel staying awake was of utmost importance, and if he fell asleep the world would implode. The blue-eyed boy glared at his red-headed friend, but complied to her request and sat up. Dean gave him a sympathetic smile, the kindest he had been to Castiel since he had left him for the football players. 

_Two Weeks. Dean Winchester had been Quarterback for two weeks, and the Lions already had a reputation. The team was definitely doing better than it had been. Dean seemed to be enjoying himself, but Castiel was miserable. He hadn’t gotten to talk to Dean all week, as his friend had been surrounded by other football players. Dean had been good enough that he was on the Varsity team, and while Castiel was proud, he was also jealous._

_“Hey, Cas!” Dean called. jogging towards his friend. Castiel just waved. Dean furrowed his eyebrows as he stopped beside the shorter boy. “What’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing, Dean.”_

_“Don’t lie to me.”_

_“You like them more.” Dean froze._

_“What? You think that I - What?” Castiel sighed, and turned to face Dean._

_“I haven’t talked to you all week, because you’ve been with them.”_

_“I know. They’re around a lot, and there are a lot of practices. “_

_“You could’ve texted. Or called. You’re basically ignoring me,” Castiel said. His cheeks burned. He knew it was ridiculous, but Dean hadn’t answered Castiel’s texts since Saturday._

_“I’m not ignoring you.”_

_“Yes, you are! You haven’t talked to me since Saturday. Six days, Dean. Six. I thought you said this wouldn’t change anything.” Dean rolled his eyes._

_“Stop being so possessive, Cas. Damn.” Castiel’s eyes widened. That’s what Dean thought of him? “The real reason I haven’t talked to you is because I can’t. I’m supposed to be the star freaking quarterback, and I’m trying. I really am. But I can’t if you’re going to cling to me like a baby. You have other friends. You don’t need me, anyways.”_

It had taken Castiel months to realise what that last sentence really meant. He regretted not realising what he’d meant sooner, and wished he could go back, to apologise, to beg Dean to forgive him for being clingy. To forgive him for allowing himself to be pushed away. Two months later, he was diagnosed with depression, and things had gone downhill from there. When he had really needed him, Dean was gone. 

“Cas?” 

“Hmm? What?” He heard a quiet chuckle, but wouldn’t open his eyes. 

“Hand me your plate.” Castiel did as told, too tired to really think about what was going on. He was so close to sleep. The plate was taken, and Castiel leaned against something soft and warm. A blanket was draped over him, and soon, he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 3 - Nicotine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a good chapter.

When Castiel first woke up, he was warm, and someone was holding him tightly against their chest. He felt sated, and for the first time in a long time, like he wasn’t alone. He snuggled into the warmth and fell back asleep. 

The second time the seventeen year old woke, he was cold, and alone once again. The same feeling of dread pressed against his chest that came with his father’s threatening and mother’s disgust. Anger and disgust with himself set in, and he ran his thumb across the old scars on his arms. 

“Charlie?” he called, standing and wrapping the cold fabric of the quilt around him. He followed the sound of conversation and coffee up the stairs and into the kitchen. Charlie smirked at him. 

“Sleep well, Cassie?” He didn’t miss the glare Dean aimed at the red head, but he was still too tired to fully understand. 

“I slept well. What about you Charlie?” She grinned. 

“Pretty fuckin’ well. What about you, Dean? How did you sleep?” 

“Fine. I have to go, though. Dad’s waiting. Bye, guys.” With that, Dean gathered his things and left. 

“Do you still have any of that tea your mom drinks?” Cas asked as he plopped onto a stool near the island. Charlie rolled her eyes, but moved to the cabinet above the stove, pulling out a box of tea and a mug. 

“You realise that my mom will be back in like two days, right? You can’t drink all of her tea.” Castiel shrugged, and gave Charlie a thankful smile as she prepared his tea and sat it in front of him. 

“You know you fell asleep on Dean last night, right? You two were all cute and cuddly,” Charlie said, gushing like a mother would over her baby’s first steps. Castiel sat his tea down and glared at her. 

“You let me sleep on him.” It was supposed to be a question, but it came out as an angry statement. “Charlie, you know how I feel about him. You can’t just - I don’t understand why you - Ugh!” Castiel stood quickly, too quickly, of course, and tripped over the stupid fucking quilt. His hip slammed into the chair, and the edge of his jaw into the island. 

“Fuck! Cas! Are you okay?” Charlie asked, running to him. He groaned and pushed her away. The bitter, rusty taste of blood filled his mouth, and he slowly, painfully got up to spit in the sink. 

“I’m taking you to the ER, come on,” Charlie said, gently grabbing Castiel’s thin arm and pulling him towards the door. 

“Charlie, I’m fine. Leave me be,” Castiel said, trying to pull away from her. The red-head glared at him, and pulled him more forcefully towards the front door. 

“Dea - I mean, Gabriel will kill me if I let anything happen to you,” Charlie said. Luckily, Castiel was in too much pain to really hear her slip up. 

+

Charlie drove Castiel home after their visit to the ER. She had thrown his stuff in the back of her car, and now she was helping him to climb out of her tiny yellow Beetle. 

“At least nothing’s broken.” Castiel glared at his friend, and she sighed. As soon as they walked through the front door, Gabriel was on him. 

“Did you call him?” Castiel asked Charlie as Gabriel pulled him into a bone crushing hug. Charlie gave Castiel a sheepish smile. Castiel, still annoyed, pushed Gabriel off of him.   
“I’m fine, Gabriel.” 

“That bruise says otherwise.” Castiel glanced at himself in the mirror near the entrance to the house. Along his jaw, a dark bruise was forming. As Castiel glared at the injury, Charlie’s phone started playing the Doctor Who theme. She glanced at the screen and winced.

“Gotta take this.” She stepped onto the porch. 

“What happened?” Gabriel asked. Castiel raised an eyebrow in question. “You look upset.” The younger boy sighed. He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was caught in his throat. Why did he let Dean affect him like this? Gabriel patted his shoulder, and pulled a Tootsie Pop from his pocket. He offered it to Castiel, who took it with a sigh. 

+

Monday morning, Castiel woke up late. He threw on the first shirt he pulled from his dresser, slipped into a dirty pair of jeans, and he was out the door. He entered the school with one minute until Homeroom. He dropped into his seat with a long sigh. 

“What happened to you?” Jo, one of Dean’s old friends, asked. 

“I fell.” He heard Jo mutter something about Dean before giving him a sympathetic smile. 

+

By Friday, Castiel was flipping shit. Everyone seemed to know something that he didn’t, and Charlie was being strangely over protective. She’d even brought him black tea and breakfast twice. 

“What the hell is going on?” Castiel asked Gabriel, who had called during lunch. 

“I don’t know, Cassie.” He could hear Gabriel eating candy. Castiel groaned. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Charlie asked suddenly from behind him. Castiel flinched before turning to her and glaring.   
“Why is everyone acting weird? I haven’t gotten sneers from Crowley, or mocking from his friends. I’ve barely seen Dean, and you’re being protective. It’s weird. Everyone seems to know something that I don’t.” Charlie started laughing. 

“Wow, Cas. You’ve been observant. You’re paranoid. Nothing is weird,” Charlie said, but her voice had an edge to it. 

“I quit!” Castiel shouted, walking away. 

“Wait! I’m sorry, Cas! Come here,” Charlie called as the blue eyed teen stormed off. As he rounded the corner, he ran into none other than Dean Winchester. 

“Woah! Slow down. Where are you off to?” Dean asked. Castiel heaved an annoyed sigh and glared at the taller teenager. 

“I don’t know! Anywhere but here!” 

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked. The genuine concern in the Winchester’s voice made Castiel want to shove him away, or cry on him. 

“Everyone is acting off, and no one will tell me why.” Dean grinned at him. 

“That’s my fault. Sorry about that,” Dean said. “I told the football team to back off, and I asked Charlie to help me come up with an idea to do this, but you ruined the first one by storming off the way you did. So I guess I’ll stop rambling and ask. Would you maybe want to go to the state fair with me this weekend?” 

For a full thirty seconds, Castiel forgot how to breathe as he stared at Dean. 

“You mean, like a date?” Dean shrugged, anxious energy scrunching his face. 

“If you want it to be.”

“I - okay. Um, yeah. I’ll go with you.” Dean’s face relaxed into an excited smile. 

“Perfect. How is your bruise, by the way?” Castiel shivered as Dean’s fingers suddenly, gently moved across his jaw. 

“I - sorry,” Dean said, jerking his hand back. 

“It’s going away. It doesn’t hurt like it did.” Dean nodded. 

“That’s good. I have to go, though. I’ll call you tonight!” Castiel smiled and nodded. When Dean disappeared from view, Castiel's chest tightened. Was he really going on a date with Dean Winchester?


	5. Chapter 4 - I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

Saturday morning filled Castiel with dread. He moved slowly, anxiously, as he ate breakfast and showered. Briefly, he considered calling Dean and cancelling on the grounds of a fake illness. Surely Dean would be relieved, wouldn't he? This pity act, or bet, or whatever it was, could be ended. Dean would not be condemned to walking around in public with Castiel.

"Cassie! Dean's gonna be here in ten minutes! Are you ready?" Gabriel called up the stairs. Castiel ran a shaking hand through his hair. He couldn't do this. Michael stuck his head into Castiel's room.

"I thought you didn't talk to Dean anymore." The blue-eyed boy sighed. "Why are you shaking?"

"Michael, please. Not now," Castiel pleaded quietly. He flinched as Michael moved towards him. He pulled Castiel close, glaring.

"You do not speak to me like that. What would father say?"

 

"I'm sorry," Castiel apologised, voice almost a whisper. Michael pushed him away.

"Good. Be back by eight." Castiel watched himself in the mirror as Michael left the room. His hands were still trembling, and the dark marks under his eyes showed that he hadn't slept much. Why had he agreed to this?

"Cassie! Dean's here!" Gabriel yelled, sounding amused and delighted. Deciding it was too late to back out now, Castiel shuffled down the stairs, told his brothers goodbye, and walked outside. Dean was leaning against his beloved car, an easy smile on his face.

"Hey Cas!" he greeted, opening the passenger door.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel murmured as he slid into the Impala. Dean climbed into the passenger seat. The whole car smelled like Dean; woodsy, but sweet.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked as he pulled away from the curb. Right, his hands were still shaking. Castiel nodded anyways. He heard Dean sigh, and he closed his eyes against the oncoming lecture he was sure was coming. Instead, he felt a calloused hand wrap around his na squeeze. He opened his eyes and looked over to Dean, who was watching the road intently.

When they arrived at the Kansas State Fair, Dean parked and helped Castiel out of the car. He gave the shorter boy a reassuring smile and led him to the entrance gates.

"Let's rock this popcorn stand," Dean said. Castiel gave him a confused look.

"Is that really a thing?" A pretty light pink colour spread across Dean's cheeks, and Castiel gave him an amused smile.

"Shut up. Let's go ride the carousel," Dean said. He grabbed Castiel's hand, making Cas' face burn, and pulled him to the rotating horses.

"Dean, we're nearly adults. We can't do this!"

"We can do anything we want!" Dean said, a crooked smile lighting up his face. Butterflies rushed around Castiel's stomach, and his cheeks were burning.

"Okay," he agreed quietly, shyly. Dean's enthusiasm was contagious. Castiel almost forgot why he was so nervous. They handed over their tickets and climbed onto two of the metal horses. As the ride began moving, a small, genuine smile lit up Castiel's face.

As the carousel slowed to a stop, Castiel and Dean climbed off, and Dean intertwined their fingers.

"Where to now?" he asked. Castiel shrugged. He didn't mind; he just liked holding Dean's hand, and the fluttering feeling in his stomach that came with it. The feelings of unease and apprehension were still swirling in his guts, but Dean's fingers intertwined with his own made them fade into the background.

"Let's play some games, then," Dean said, a determined set to his features. Castiel agreed, although he wanted to talk to Dean. He wanted to talk about freshman year, and about what happened after. About one of his biggest mistakes. About how alone he felt when Dean abandoned him, along with his parents. And Michael's abuse just continued to get worse. Instead, though, he let Dean drag him to a booth.

"Step right up! Step right up! A dollar to play!" Dean pulled the shorter teen up to the counter, a large grin painted on his face. He handed the man the dollar and the man gave him three darts in return.

"Hit two balloons, any of the prizes on the bottom three shelves are yours. Three, and any of the prizes on the top two shelves are yours. Got it?" Dean nodded, and the man moved to allow Dean to throw the darts. Cas watched as Dean glared at the balloons as though they had personally offended him before aiming and throwing the first dart. Castiel grins as Dean pops a red balloon.

"Good job," Cas says, watching as Dean gives him a small smile and aims another dart. This time, Castiel jumps as a blue balloon pops. Dean throws the last dart and misses. Castiel tries to hide his smile as Dean scowls.

"Bottom shelf. What'll it be?" Dean sighs, admitting defeat, and picks out a small bee plushie. The man hands Dean the stuffed insect and starts calling for volunteers again.

"It's for you," Dean says quietly, almost shyly. Castiel looks at Dean with large, shocked blue eyes as Dean, with bright red cheeks, refuses to return his gaze.

"You remember," Castiel says. _After all this time...._ Dean shrugs and pulls Castiel to the line for the Ferris Wheel. Castiel's body goes stiff, and he closes his eyes, willing the images of the Ferris Wheel and _him_ out of his mind. Now is not the time. Castiel glances down as he feels fingers intertwining with his.

"Are you afraid of heights?" Dean asked, a playful smile on his face. Castiel rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"No, Dean. I am not afraid of heights." Dean grins.

"Good, because we're next." Castiel had been so lost in thought that he hadn't realised the line was moving. Dean pulled him along into a car. They were close, thighs touching, and the car began moving. Castiel gripped the safety bar tightly, and Dean raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Are you okay, Cas?" The teen in question closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens them.

"Yeah. This just, brings back memories, is all." Dean shoots him a suspicious look, but doesn't push, for which Castiel is grateful. When the cart inevitably stops at the top, Castiel opens his eyes. He smiles, until the cart starts rocking, and Dean grins as he swings his legs. Castiel feels his stomach drop.

"Dean, stop!" he pleads. Dean laughs loudly and continues to swing his legs back and forth. Castiel grabs his arm, pulling on it, and sliding himself closer. "Dean, please!" He clung to the taller teen. Dean relented as the cart began to move back downwards.

"Well, remind me to never do that again," Castiel mumbled as Dean grabbed his hand again.

"You hungry, Cas?" The shorter teen nodded, looking around them at the food stands. Both he and Dean started to pull the other to different stands. Cas squeezed Dean's hand, and pushed him in the direction he seemed to be dragging them.

"We can get funnel cake if that's what you want, Cas. You don't have to eat a burger to make me happy."

"I like burgers," Cas insisted stubbornly, pushing Dean in the direction of Dean's food choice. Dean rolled his eyes and dragged Castiel to the burger stand.

"Order, Cas."

"No, you order," Castiel said, crossing his arms.

"Nope. You."

"You two are holding up the line," the teenage boy manning the register said, giving the couple a stern look. Dean gave a sheepish smile, and Castiel ordered a bacon cheeseburger for both of them. He handed over the money before Dean could protest. Dean glared, but remained silent. They walked away with the burgers, Cas pulling Dean to a table to eat.

+

"What happened between you and Crowley?" Dean asked on the way home. Castiel's whole body tensed. Dean noticed.

"You don't have to tell me." Castiel sighed and looked down at his hands. They were shaking.

"But I do. He's probably told you anyways." Dean shrugged. Crowley had told the whole football team, but Cas didn't need to know that.

"Dean, I want to tell you. But you have to give me time." Dean nodded. Crowley probably changed the story. Dean was curious.

"We're here," Dean said as he pulled up to the curb in front of Castiel's house. The lights in the living room were on.

"Thank you for today. I had fun." Castiel was still looking at his lap. Dean sighed and reached over, taking his hand.

"I didn't mean to upset you," he murmured. "I shouldn't have asked. I should've known it would be a sensitive subject." Cas shook his head, and his grip on Dean's hand tightened.

"No, it's not your fault," he said, finally looking at Dean. Dean gave him a small smile and kissed his cheek.

"You'd better go." Cas sighed, but nodded in agreement. He grabbed the plushie that Dean had won him.

"Thank you for this. And thank you again for today." Dean nodded in response. He waited until Castiel made it inside before pulling away from the curb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned out badly, and I'm so sorry.


End file.
